A miracle happened

A miracle happened today. Not a miracle for the majority of the people in the world but a miracle for us. A HUGE miracle for us.

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Sylas K went to his first day at a summer program. I dropped him off at 7:45 a.m. and I picked him up at 4:52 p.m. Seems like a small thing right.

Parents do this all the time. They drop their kids at daycare and go to work. Kids go to school and summer programs and daycare all the time and stay all day.

Not so much for us! Not so much for many kids with special needs. The reality is that finding a school or a daycare that will keep a child with special needs all day long is next to impossible!

I can’t remember the last time I took Sylas to one place in the morning and picked him up at the same place at the end of the day. It has been years!

All throughout the day I kept checking the time.

9:30 a.m. no phone call to come get him….

11:00 a.m. Still no phone call but a message from a friend that said she dropped her kids off and Sylas was doing fine.

11:30 a.m. This is usually when the transfer between his morning program and afternoon program occurs. I’m always anxious there will be a an issue. Still no call.

12:30 p.m. I actually made it through a lunch meeting with no call.

2:15 p.m. Wait I don’t have to shuffle him from school to yet another sitter.

3:30 p.m. Okay seriously something has to be wrong. I call. Nothing is wrong.

4:15 p.m. I’m really ready to pick him up but force myself to take a walk instead.

4:45 p.m. I can’t take it anymore and drive like a mad woman to get him. He is fine. He is excited to go back tomorrow and he says it was fun.

I may have cried on the drive home. Happy joyous tears. My kid made it all day in one spot. A group of people could meet his needs for that time period and I could just be a regular mom. I could do the things I needed to do and know he was fine and just go pick him up! Something so many people take for granted every day.

Over dinner we talked about the best parts which were dodgeball and playing with friends and crafts. The worst part was he was so tired that it made him “crabby”. So then I asked what happened when he had a crabby struggle.

“Another kid and I had a few struggles but no one pushed us down or pushed us in the alonely room. They just knew we were tired.”

Okay this is even bigger than big in our world! No seclusion! Hello! Going all day in one place with no seclusion is totally a miracle in his world.

I don’t know if this will last two weeks or all summer. But I’m doing a happy dance tonight and enjoying the miracle!

Oh and he fell asleep at 6:50!

Bonus!

Saying yes

“Mom I thought it was summer? But all it does is rain?

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Yep that is the story of life right now. Rain, rain, more rain. Ever since school got out for the summer it has been raining.

Unfortunately that means I’ve had to say no a lot. No we can’t go to the swimming pool, they didn’t even open it because of the rain. No we can’t go play disc golf at your favorite spot because it is under water. No we can’t take the dog on a walk in the pouring down rain.

Luckily the rain broke for a bit and I could say yes. Yes please go run like a wild man through the water. Jump and splash and throw rocks. Get as muddy and dirty as you want.

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Saying yes is so much more fun than saying no. And if you happen to be a 7 year old boy running and jumping and splashing in huge water puddles is much more fun than sitting inside watching it rain.

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How the garden grows

Oh how the garden grows at our house! We have become a bit obsessed with our gardening lately. I think having a yard after such a long time without has sent us into overdrive.

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Obviously, Sylas planted a ton of onions. What is amazing is those onions are all starting to come up! We have quite a collection under a tree and quite a few in what I was planning to be a flower bed.

We have a couple zucchini plants and tomatoes. But right now Sylas is most excited about our green beans. I swear they are growing like crazy. We planted them two weeks ago and they are already tall. He is convinced they are growing so fast because he talks to them. And he really does talk or cheer them on.

He was weeding the other night and I could hear him from across the yard.

“Good job growing bean friends.”

“Keep up the good work.”

“When you get big I will eat you.”

It is just fun to watch things grow. Since we are getting such a kick out of the beans we planted some watermelon, spinach, lettuce and broccoli as well. I’m not a huge fan of radishes but since they grow so fast I thought they would be fun for Sylas so we planted a whole bunch of those.

I’m really pleased with how thrilled Sylas is to be in the garden and what a helper he is. He is learning quite a bit. He spent some time on google the other day trying to decide if he wanted to plant peas. He decided after our research they were a little too much work for the small amount you actually get in the end.

I knew we needed a yard. I just didn’t know we would use almost half of it for a garden.

Crabby Witch

I am a crabby witch. It’s true. I’ve been nasty and crabby and witch like all week. I am stressed to the max and tired. Not a good combination. That combination leads to crabby witch syndrome. Unfortunately, Sylas K has taken the majority of my crabby witch attitude.

I owed him a big apology for my crabby witch behavior so I made his favorite dinner tonight. Mac & Cheese and hot dogs. He isn’t easy to please and thankfully 7-year-old boys aren’t foodies. So I made his dinner and made him a little note and called him to the table.

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As soon as he saw the “I’m sorry I’m a crabby witch” note he started to laugh. When he realized there was hot dogs and mac & cheese he started to scream. You would have thought I gave him $100.

We talked during dinner about how I was sorry that I’d been crabby and that I hadn’t made very good choices about how to deal with being stressed out. He reminded me I needed to use my “coping skills”. When dinner was over he carried his note off to his room to “keep forever”.

At bedtime he reminded me that the best part of his day was my apology note. He told me he didn’t know that mom’s had to apologize too. Ha! I explained to him that even grown ups make poor choices and sometimes we aren’t always nice and we need to apologize when we get it wrong.

“Well that little crabby witch picture was cute mama,” he said. “If you want you can be a crabby witch next week if I get another picture.”

I think I’ll try to pass on the crabby witch behavior and stick with just drawing him silly pictures.

Why you need a Shih Tzu

Have you been thinking about getting a Shih Tzu? You know you want a puppy! Here are a few reasons why a Shih Tzu is perfect for you!

1. You can take them on walks. They will walk half the way and then become so exhausted that you get to carry them the rest of the way. Your kid can practice his carrying skills and the pup gets a lift. Good times for all.

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2. They can make your yard look pretty. You can barely notice the weeds when you stick a cute shih tzu in the yard.

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3. There is always a fun game to play called “Where are her eyes?” What other dog can look so adorable when it appears to be eyeless.

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4. You can teach your kid about responsiblity by having him attend all vet appointments. This also gives him the opportunity to answer the question “What kind of dog do you have?” Any time he can say shih tzu is a good day!

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5. You know you need a guard dog. A shih tzu will sit on your front porch and bark all the live long day. They may also lick an intruder to death. But trust me your porch will be safe!

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6. Need a laugh? A Shih Tzu will make ya laugh. They can show you how to fit under your furniture but can’t quite get themselves out…

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7. They are always ready for snuggles!

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Now watch this and laugh. We have no clue how Lily got under the table. Sylas and I had to lift it up to save her. Silly Shih Tzu!

Wedding advice from the divorced lady

Are you planning a wedding? It seems like everyone is planning weddings right now. In fact, 16 people on my Facebook friends list have weddings coming up. I keep seeing their posts about wedding planning stress, the nightmares, the cake disasters and the disagreements over guest lists. So here is the best wedding planning advice I have…

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Dear brides to be-

You are busy planning your dream wedding. Picking out the dress, finding the perfect location and ordering the most beautiful bouquets you can imagine. In the midst of that you are having nightmares. Nightmares that the dress won’t fit, your groom will leave you at the alter or your parents will forget to show up the day of the wedding.

Please stop planning your wedding!

Just stop right now! Get off pinterest, quit pinning mason jars and dove releases and take a deep breath. You don’t want to do this! You don’t want to obsess on one day. Not even your wedding day.

Your wedding day is not important!

Your wedding day isn’t important. More than that your wedding day won’t be perfect. I promise you something will happen. A kid will throw a huge fit, the microphones won’t work right, your cake will tip over, a bridesmaid will pass out, heck someone may spill punch all over your dress. Something will happen because something always happens! Nothing is ever perfect. There is good news though.

No matter what happens at the end of the day you will be married!

Even with a stained dress, a cake that isn’t perfect or the most epic flower girl meltdown of all time you will still be married. And that is the point. You shouldn’t be planning a wedding. You should be planning a marriage. Trust me, the wedding is the easy part. The marriage is a whole other deal.

Plan your marriage not your wedding!

Most people spend more time worrying and planning their wedding then they plan or worry about their marriage. Not sure how to pick a wedding cake, think about picking a name for your kids. Not sure what you will do if your wedding cake falls down, imagine what happens when you have a house fire or a sick child or the death of a parent to navigate. Can’t decide how to pick those groomsmen and bridesmaids, consider having to handle infidelity if it occurs or how to make a decision about whether to remove your spouse from life support.

Now how important is that dress and cake?

The wedding really isn’t that important. You could get married in a gunny sack in the middle of a junk yard and you aren’t any less married than the person that had a $500,000 event. Let the wedding stress go!

Staying married is way more difficult than planning a wedding!

I wish marriage was as easy as weddings. Newsflash it isn’t. Marriage is a lot of work. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. But the wedding should be fun and should be a celebration. The hard work begins after the “I do’s” are said.

So please just quit planning your wedding. Plan your marriage and enjoy it while it lasts. Which I hope is as long as your heart desires.

– The divorced lady

Our Scary Day

This morning Sylas K got a new bike. His dad got him a really awesome red and black bike with a skull on it but no training wheels! He was so dang excited.

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He really wanted to ride and I thought to myself why not it’s just a few times up and down the street. I’ll get him a bike helmet tomorrow. It’s no big deal. Well it turned into a big deal.

My dad and I were outside with him and we would give him a push to get started and he would ride to the end of the street, turn around and come back. No big deal. It’s a dead end street at the railroad crossing so traffic is minimal. There is a parking lot at the end of the street for the railroad workers.

Well we gave Sylas a push and sent him riding down the street. My dad and I were there watching him as a truck came pulling out of the parking lot going way to fast. He was turning onto our street but he was going so fast he didn’t turn into his lane but into Sylas’ lane.

I started screaming, Dad started yelling and Sylas tried to stop. I started running like crazy while the truck tried to stop and swerve out of the way. Oh course I’m a total klutz and tripped and fell. As my head went down into the pavement I swore it looked like Sylas was under the rear tire, I could see the bike tire spinning.

I jumped up and started running and screaming again and saw my sweet boy standing up! Thank God. When I got to him his arm was bleeding but he wasn’t squashed and he wasn’t broken.

I don’t even remember what the driver looked like. I don’t remember talking to him. I was so focused on Sylas. I heard my dad laying into him and the guy apologizing but I just wanted to check every inch of Sylas. He doesn’t feel pain the way other people do so I wanted to make sure he wasn’t really hurt.

He is totally fine. We got him all checked over and he seriously just has scrapes. He is amazingly fine! He was crying some and I asked him what hurt. He said nothing but he was crying because it scared him when I fell down. Oh that child.

It has been hours now and I still feel like throwing up. I’ve never been so terrified. It was a horribly close call and so so scary. It was just a couple rides up and down the street it wasn’t supposed to be a big deal. Everything can be a big deal.

The helmet has been bought. He won’t ride that bike a foot without it on his head.

Mowing adventures

When I was a kid I HATED mowing the lawn. I absolutely despised being given the chore by my dad. Mainly because he was very particular and wanted the yard mowed in straight lines. Crazy right?!?

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So he would tell me to mow and I would start out mowing the yard the way he liked. Up, turn, back, turn, row after row. Then I would get bored. And before I could stop myself I would be criss crossing the yard or mowing in figure eight designs. About that same time I could see my dad turning red as he screamed from the driveway to knock it off.

By the time I was 18 my folks lived in the country and mowed four acres. My mom would spend hours on the mower. By that time in my life I had learned to enjoy the time mowing. It was peaceful actually. And my mom didn’t give a crap if you mowed standing on your head or in a diamond pattern. She just wanted it done!

I have had quite a break from mowing but that break ended when we moved to our house. Now there is a yard or weeds to be mowed. It takes about an hour to mow the yard which isn’t much time but it is a very long time when Sylas is added into the equation.

An hour of Sylas time without direct one on one supervision is like half a day for normal people. He can make a lot of interesting choices in an hour… Tonight I started out trying to keep him busy playing soccer and playing with the dog while I mowed. When that quit working I had him pick up sticks. Then use the sidewalk chalk.

At some point I got distracted and he ran off for a few minutes to play in the front yard. I finally got done and was sweeping off the sidewalks when I noticed this. A hole in the yard with the shovel abandoned.

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Me: Sylas K, what did you plant in the yard?

Sylas: Nothing.

Me: Then why is there a hole and the shovel out front?

Sylas: Oh that. Well I had to pee really bad so I dug a hole and peed in it and then buried my pee.

Me: Hmm okay.

Sylas: Pretty good choice huh? I didn’t pee my pants.

I suppose it was a better choice than peeing his pants. Heck at that point I didn’t care. The yard got mowed, no one peed their pants and the job was done. Mission accomplished. Though I can assure you the weeds were not mowed in perfectly straight lines.

Goodbye Hermie

Last night I found Hermie our hermit crab out of his shell. At first I thought maybe he just wanted to sleep without his shell. Perhaps he needs to breath a bit and air out his pinchers. Maybe Hermie wants to sleep in the buff. Maybe Hermie wants to stretch his pinchers and move to a bigger and better shell.

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I was cautiously optimistic he was living as a nudist for a bit and would be back in his shell by morning.

No such luck! By noon today I could confirm that he was in fact not a nudist shell switching hermit crab but was in fact a dead hermit crab. Poor Hermie only survived a month in our care. I’m not sure what we did wrong but he just didn’t make it.

When Sylas got home from school I broke the news to him that Hermie was dead. Naked and dead. It went better than I expected actually.

“Well mama hermit crabs die, you know that right? They can’t live forever. Let’s just bury him.”

So we took Hermie to the back yard and since my back is still all jacked up Sylas dug him a hole. We bid him farewell and dropped him into the tomb. I told Sylas to go ahead and cover Hermie up with the dirt.

Before he could get the hole filled Lily was all over it. I didn’t even think about banning puppies from hermit crab funerals. The next thing I know Sylas is screaming, the shovel is flying and Lilly is racing through the yard with poor dead naked Hermie!

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“Mom she has Hermie in her mouth, she is eating dead Hermie. Don’t let her eat Hermie!”

Are you freaking kidding me! We have lived here two weeks and the first real interaction the neighbors see of us is this shit show? Sylas screaming through the yard, wrestling the puppy, pulling dead Hermie out of her mouth, me hobbling around trying not to pass out from the back pain. So much for a good first impression, so much for a proper burial.

I finally got the dog under control and back in the house. Sylas dropped Hermie back in the hole, making sure to let me know Hermie had lost two pinchers in the ordeal and got him all covered up. We bid him farewell and headed back inside.

“Mom the next time something dies in this house we are just throwing it in the trash can, that was ridiculous!”

I’m hoping I’m not the next thing to go….

When it rains it pours

That old saying is ringing true in our lives right now…

When it rains, it pours…

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Moving, trying to get settled, adding a new puppy, crazy times at work and the end of the school year fizzle is all taking its toll on us.

Too much change at once has been a bit of an overload to say the least. It is raining and pouring in our world.

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Friday night though was an awesome night. Sylas and I got flowers planted and the yard mowed. We got the last of the boxes unpacked. We even planted some tomatoes and zucchini. We were rocking and rolling.

Then the rain came. Literally, it stormed and poured and poured some more. While Sylas K enjoyed dancing in the rain Saturday morning I used the time to pick up things inside the house.

I bent down to pick up a blanket off the floor and it was like fire in my back. I seriously could not stand up! What the what!?! I yelled for Sylas and he came running. I am sure he thought he was in trouble at first the way I screamed.

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He came running into the living room and I told him I needed help. He bent down and made eye contact with me.

“What game is this mama?”

Sweet Jesus child this isn’t a game! He helped me to the couch and fetched frozen peas from the feezer so I could ice my back. And then he spent the rest of the weekend on caretaker duty.

Oh that child. If I wasn’t hurting so bad all weekend I would have been laughing like crazy. The things he said to me over the weekend…

“Mama, I’m sick of getting your shoes for you so you just need to leave them on until bedtime.”

“I will take good care of you but no matter what I’m not changing your diaper.”

“I get so tired of picking up after you.”

It may have been a very good lesson for him on how much I really do around the house that he never realizes.

By Sunday afternoon I was exhausted. So I laid down on the couch with my ice pack and turned on a movie for him. He was watching contently when I fell asleep. When I awoke he wasn’t in the living room…

Right about the time I was going to panic he came running through the front door with an empty bag and a spoon in hand.

“You won’t believe it mama, I got all the onions planted and it’s just now gonna rain on them.”

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Yes indeed folks. While I slept he planted 40 onion bulbs randomly throughout the front yard. There are onions around the trees, onions around the mailbox. Onions all over the place!

He did a great job! During the process he rewarded himself with four popsicles. I’m so thankful he made the decision to do something productive rather than something naughty. Heck it will make the summer an adventure as we find onions here and there.

This morning he carried my backpack and purse to the car and got it all loaded. As I dropped him off he gave me an extra hug.

“You are gonna miss me today mama. How will you ever survive without me?”

I’m not quite sure how I managed but I did. I do however still have my tennis shoes on.

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